Why does cold calling scare me? I believe I have finally grasped the underlying reasons behind my fear. Although this post is more for my own benefit as a sort of personal journal entry, I believe there might be others who can relate. To some, this breakthrough might seem insignificant, but the root fear I discovered in myself has profoundly influenced every aspect of my life: my relationships, my business, everything.Last week, I mustered the courage to make my first 14 cold calls. No one answered, and I found myself experiencing a peculiar sense of relief. As I anxiously awaited each phone call, a wave of relief washed over me when it inevitably went to voicemail.Logically, I understand that cold calling is essential to propel my business to the level I desire. However, this deep-seated fear persists. I recalled advice from Google analysts, suggesting that we should ask “why?” five times to uncover the root cause of an issue. So, I sat down and repeatedly asked myself “why?” in an attempt to delve deeper. Ultimately, it became apparent that my fear stems from the worry that people won’t like me. Prompted by this realization, I continued my self-inquiry, repeatedly asking “why?”. Here’s how it unfolded:Why does it matter if people don’t like me? Because when people dislike me, they may treat me unkindly or rudely. Why is that problematic? Because it doesn’t feel good. Moreover, what if their reasons for not liking me are valid? What if I am truly annoying, unintelligent, or even a bad person? Why does that matter? It matters because if it is true, then people won’t like me… Oh, here I am back in the same predicament.Determined not to fall into a never-ending cycle, I made another attempt. This time, I focused on avoiding circular thinking. Eventually, I reached a breakthrough and jotted down a realization: if people don’t like me, I cannot obtain certain things from them. What are those things, exactly? Opportunities, affection, gifts, kindness, praise, friendship, and peace.Upon further contemplation, I pondered whether these things are solely attainable through others. The answer is no; I can also provide them for myself. Thus, if I start fulfilling these needs within myself, perhaps my fear of pursuing the things I desire will diminish. So, I wrote down a list of things I can do to give myself opportunities, affection, gifts, kindness, praise, friendship, and peace. Hopefully by giving these things to myself I will be less worried about someone “withholding” them. By meeting my own needs, I can relax and present my best self, unburdened by anxiety, focusing on what I can offer to others rather than what they can offer me.